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Grace's Corner of the World: The Tough Stuff

   One of the toughest things I struggle with when writing my blogs (or my books, or anything else, really) is that I don't have a very "tough skin" yet. This means that it hurts me when people don't like a post, or when someone offers critique on one of my stories. It's not that I don't believe what they're saying in those critiques of my stories or posts, it's that it hurts to hear them say it!

   At the same time, with my blogs, I struggle when one post doesn't get as many views as another. This mostly hurts me because my posts about MK life/life overseas get tons of views, but when I write about what really is important to me (my stories) they don't get half as many views.

   I've had to keep some things in mind when I look back over critiques or look at the amount of views of my posts.

1) I'm not writing to please other people, I'm writing to please me

   I don't write my blogs to see how many views they get, I write my blogs because whatever I'm writing is something I personally care about. It doesn't matter what other people think about it - it matters that I enjoyed writing it.

   With writing my stories, that's a bit different. That's what I want to do with my life - I want to tell stories. That's why it hurts so much when someone points out a flaw in it. But it's still necessary. It still matters. Whatever that person is saying might have some truth to it, so after I stop bawling my eyes out because someone didn't like a scene in my book or didn't like one of my characters (I'm not kidding here - I've cried over this before! My book's like my baby; I pour hours of my life into it, I care about it, and I put my whole heart into it), I need to get to working on their suggestions (if they're valid, of course).

2) Numbers don't matter




   A number is something small. Or big. It doesn't matter which. My blog posts get ten views or ten thousand, it shouldn't stop me from writing more. And it certainly shouldn't stop me from writing from the heart.

   And, probably the hardest to remember of all, 3) Different people like different things

   Some people might read cooking blogs, whereas I read writing blogs. Others might read historical fiction novels, whereas I usually read fantasy novels. I can't say a blanket "Oh my goodness, everyone hates me because they won't look at my posts." Um . . . no. Just because they don't like reading about the stuff I like to write about doesn't mean they don't like me. It's got nothing to do with me! It's got everything to do with what someone likes to read.

   Okay, okay, I'm sure you're wondering why this matters to you. Well, I think all of this is important in everyday life. No matter what your profession, your hobby, your religion - all of these come into practice every. single. day. How?

1) You aren't living to please other people


   Now, you shouldn't hurt other people or yourself, either. But you have to remember in everyday life that your goal isn't to make everyone else happy while you rot away in a cage of misery. You aren't going around to make everyone happy with themselves and their lives - you can comfort them and love them, but you don't have to suffer so they can be somewhat content. If you try to please everyone, nobody's going to be happy.

2) Numbers don't matter

   You could have a lot of money. You could have a little money. You could have a bunch of friends, or you could have a few friends. But numbers don't matter in the long run. Yes, it's good to have enough money to survive! It's good to have friends! But in the end everyone leaves this earth. What matters isn't what you have, it's what you believe.

3) Different people are going to like different things - and different people

   Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to like the way you do things. I have learned this - and it isn't easy to remember. Me? I like hugs. My brother? Doesn't like hugs. Likes me, doesn't like getting bombarded with hugs (I can't understand why . . .). When he tells me he doesn't want a hug, is he telling me he doesn't like me? Nope! He's telling me he doesn't want a hug. (I'll admit, not hugging him is easier said than done . . .)

   It's hard to remember these things - it always has been and it always will be. Forever. Infinitely difficult. Some people won't like my books, others will like them, and others still might love them. Who knows? Only God. He knows what He's doing. So trust Him, and remember these things, would you?

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